Canewizzard,I allways try and tye to my strengths(I'm at best an average tyer) and have a habit of making plenty of mistakes.
Take a tip from a pro. (as said, pro. at making mistakes!LOL).
The two flee's with the metallic body!,loving them.Tie them on a metal tube, no cone head,try a little less visible tube at the back end- is that extension tube there?.I'd also tye in a hackle at the front-possibly brown- and the feelers at the back, tye in as a tail in one bunch on the top of the tube, keep the rest of the tail as it is.I'm not unduly worried by the lack of taper to the body either!
I say all of this as its how I tie a similar flee myself and it works very very well for me.I tie to my strengths and what I'm good at and can be consistent with.Once you get a feel for a type of flee you can begin to understand proportion much more and become more adept at various techniques leading to a better library of flee's one can be confident with..
Another tip is to tye the flee on a wide bored plastic tube that you can sit the hook into, this lets you have a smaller body all round, coupled to the tail tied on the top of the body and a front hackle, it moves a lot of water when fished off fast sink polys or sinking lines and gives a greater illusion of life!.
This is not intended as a criticism,more as a similar standard of flee tyer sharing a technique or two.
Best of luck,Pedro.