Have a laugh - Put your jokes here

John Keane

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Piggin’ ‘ell...
 

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John Keane

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See Janet run John...
 

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Salad Dodger

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May the 4th be with you...

Due to political correctness :batty: and it being Star Wars day, I give you......
8002A361-C1D5-4FD8-A35F-E717E11A3ABB.jpeg
 

yellabelly

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Happy couple

love it!




After a beautiful wedding and the overseas honeymoon, Tom was occupied doing some welding in the garage.
His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally said: "Honey, I've been thinking; now that we are married, maybe you don't need to spend so much of your time out here working in your garage. You could consider selling some of your machinery, tools and things like your gun collection, fishing gear, boat and get rid of all those stupid model cars. How about selling that old classic car that’s in the garage that only goes out once a month? "

Tom got a most horrified look on his face and silently stared at her.

She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
He replied, "Nothing … but for a minute there, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!?" she screamed, "You NEVER told me you were previously married!”
Tom replied, “I wasn’t”...
 

Paul White

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TWO HUNTERS

Paddy and Mick, got a pilot to fly them to northern Canada where they could hunt Moose.
They managed to bag six Moose. But as they were loading the plane, the pilot said he could carry only four Moose.
The two lads objected strongly, “Last year we got six.
The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours.”
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six Moose were loaded.
However, on take-off, the little plane couldn’t handle the load and went down, crashing into the wilderness.
Somehow, Paddy and Mick survived the crash, and climbed out of the wreckage.
Paddy asked Mick, “Any idea where we are?”
“I think we are pretty close to where we crashed last year.”
 

Paul White

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A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive. The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good value for money.

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.
 

allysshrimp

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I'm having a Garden sale tomorrow. I've got 3 Trampolines, 6 Patio chairs and 4 Fence panels. New stuff arriving all the time.:lol:
 

Wee Double

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Corona Joke

I just ordered a Chinese takeaway.

Chinese driver comes to the door and i open it. He starts shouting 'Isolate Isolate'

I said mate your well on time i only ordered 15 minutes ago :D

WD
 

Wafty Cranker

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Needing a laugh??

How about a thread to cheer us up a bit in these weird times........

Post up a vid of your fave laugh moments from comedians over the years.

I will start with one of the old school guys who creased me up with his dead pan faced comedy and wit.

The one at 1.10 mins cracks me up:lol::lol:

Last Call - Rev IM Jolly - Hogmanay 1998 - Rikki Fulton - YouTube
 
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